I lost 10 pounds and then my zipper broke Ugh!

Video – I lost 10 pounds then my zipper broke –

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Diary of A Mad Dieter is Finally on YouTube – Please subscribe

Hello everyone, I am finally going to be turning some of this weight humor and motivation into videos. I do hope you will subscribe to my channel. Please see the video below and don’t forget to pass it along. Comments, Likes and ideas are welcome. Thanks so much.

Why do I only have BEFORE photos?

Why do I only have before photosDear Diary, Today I realized that I have quite a collection of ‘BEFORE’ photos in my repertoire. I’m sure there are about 423 of them – and guess what diary? I don’t have a SINGLE ‘after’ photo.

Now do you suppose that I forgot to take that photo? Or maybe I never got to my ideal weight? OR, do you suppose I never truly defined what ‘after’ looked like so in my eyes I never got there?

Diary, today I am going to take an AFTER photo…. and I’m going to call it ‘AFTER’ my decision to change my life. What do you think?

after

I Went for a Walk Today – I’m OK

I went for a walk today

Dear Diary, I went for a walk today and I’m OK. After my successful walk around the block recently I decided to venture out to the world of ‘walkers’. You know, where healthy people gather to walk for miles and miles – THE PARK.  I woke up and proceeded to get my ‘gear’ on – I am ready to go – even though I almost lost oxygen to my brain as I bent over to put on my sneakers – due to belly block. I then proudly drove all the way to the park (a good mile and a half) and as I got out of my car with the posture of a pro, I eagerly approached the paved walkway leading toward the scenic breezy woods. It was early and still cool and crisp.  As I took my first few steps towards the path of winners, my mind began to process a combination of things. One was a feeling as though my body was thanking me for doing this little task – this task that will bring fresh air to my lungs, sun to my body for vitamin D, circulation to my heart and mobility to my joints. This act of walking would change my life for the better as I would have mental clarity and infinite energy throughout my day. I will look better and people will notice. On the other hand, the other part of me was freaking out from it all – saying ‘WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING WOMAN –  I can’t breathe, I am stiff, my back hurts and I don’t think I’ll make it another inch. Stop this right now and go home’.

Oh well, Tomorrow is another day.

To Sag or Not to Sag

to sag or not to sag

To Sag or Not to Sag- Dear Diary, I have some crazy thinking going on inside my head and I could really use your help.

You know I have this plumpness about me right? My face is plump, my legs, belly and butt are plump and even though I am large, my plumpness seems to keep my skin looking supple…

So when I lose weight, will I sag everywhere? I don’t want everything I own to fall to China as I reduce. Is it just me or are other women concerned about whether they will look worse when they lose weight or not?

I’m thinking I should just continue eating cheap empty food that keeps me pleasantly plump, overweight and unhealthy – you know –  to keep me wrinkle and sag free. Just think of all the money I will save on plastic surgery – No?

HEY, I LOST HALF A POUND – SO WHY HAVEN’T YOU NOTICED?

I lost half a pound

Dear Diary, When I gain an ounce of weight, it is so noticeable. I can feel my clothes becoming tighter, my face gets puffy and I just look…well… guilty. Like it’s obvious that I ate a whole pizza at 3:00 am. People notice – sometimes they say something and other times.. they give the ‘look’ as if to let me know that they know.

And now that I have been on track and doing all the right things,  I can’t believe no one noticed that I lost weight. After all, I lost a whole half a pound! I feel better, I am being diligent and I want someone to notice – is that so wrong?

Maybe I can send out an email blast about it – or maybe I should make up T Shirts for each of my milestones so I can announce my accomplishment. I WANT to be acknowledged. Let’s face it – I want to be fed, and if I can’t be fed food, I want to be fed lots of compliments.

IS THERE A 12 STEP PROGRAM FOR THAT?

Is there a 12 Step program for that

Dear Diary. When I began my wellness regime, I knew I would want to give up a few things to feel better and lose weight. I expected to miss those things and want to indulge in them from time to time. I presume everyone goes through that.

I’ve geared myself up to handle these cravings with gentleness and patience.

BUT – What really blew my mind was when I found myself trying to suck the salt out of my homemade vegetable soup. There was a bit of salt in there but apparently not enough to satisfy this insatiable desire to become a human salt lick. What happened to craving chocolate or sugar or pasta? With complete and utter surprise,  I would gladly trade them all in for a moment alone with my salt shaker. What the?

It has all become clear to me now…. all these years – the desire for cheese and chips was really all about the salt, wasn’t it?  Remove the pasta and the potato and leave a puddle of salt please.

I am actually angry when my food lacks enough salt. ANGRY…. can you believe it? Now that’s scary. And why hasn’t anyone mentioned this to me before? Not a doctor or a fellow over-eater. Does anyone else have a salt addiction? Is there a 12 Step Program for that?

All I know is my cankles are thanking me for the low sodium… but my tongue hates me with a passion.