Diary of A Mad Dieter is Finally on YouTube – Please subscribe

Hello everyone, I am finally going to be turning some of this weight humor and motivation into videos. I do hope you will subscribe to my channel. Please see the video below and don’t forget to pass it along. Comments, Likes and ideas are welcome. Thanks so much.

I Went for a Walk Today – I’m OK

I went for a walk today

Dear Diary, I went for a walk today and I’m OK. After my successful walk around the block recently I decided to venture out to the world of ‘walkers’. You know, where healthy people gather to walk for miles and miles – THE PARK.  I woke up and proceeded to get my ‘gear’ on – I am ready to go – even though I almost lost oxygen to my brain as I bent over to put on my sneakers – due to belly block. I then proudly drove all the way to the park (a good mile and a half) and as I got out of my car with the posture of a pro, I eagerly approached the paved walkway leading toward the scenic breezy woods. It was early and still cool and crisp.  As I took my first few steps towards the path of winners, my mind began to process a combination of things. One was a feeling as though my body was thanking me for doing this little task – this task that will bring fresh air to my lungs, sun to my body for vitamin D, circulation to my heart and mobility to my joints. This act of walking would change my life for the better as I would have mental clarity and infinite energy throughout my day. I will look better and people will notice. On the other hand, the other part of me was freaking out from it all – saying ‘WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING WOMAN –  I can’t breathe, I am stiff, my back hurts and I don’t think I’ll make it another inch. Stop this right now and go home’.

Oh well, Tomorrow is another day.

HEY, I LOST HALF A POUND – SO WHY HAVEN’T YOU NOTICED?

I lost half a pound

Dear Diary, When I gain an ounce of weight, it is so noticeable. I can feel my clothes becoming tighter, my face gets puffy and I just look…well… guilty. Like it’s obvious that I ate a whole pizza at 3:00 am. People notice – sometimes they say something and other times.. they give the ‘look’ as if to let me know that they know.

And now that I have been on track and doing all the right things,  I can’t believe no one noticed that I lost weight. After all, I lost a whole half a pound! I feel better, I am being diligent and I want someone to notice – is that so wrong?

Maybe I can send out an email blast about it – or maybe I should make up T Shirts for each of my milestones so I can announce my accomplishment. I WANT to be acknowledged. Let’s face it – I want to be fed, and if I can’t be fed food, I want to be fed lots of compliments.

Just a Walk Around the Block – Or is it?

Just a walk around the block

Dear Diary, I know that for some, a walk around the block is nothing. Those are probably the very same people who actually use a shopping cart for groceries and not just to hold them up in the supermarket. (I am not the least embarrassed to proudly pull up to a cashier with a mere pack of gum in my cart).

For me and I’m sure others, walking to the end of the driveway could require a lot of energy and AIR! The big bad wolf has nothing on me when I huff and I puff until I get back to my ‘safe place’ to sit.

So diary, this is why I write today to say how proud of myself I am for my accomplishment. As I struggled to get my Velcro sneakers on to feel athletic and walk to the end of the driveway – FULLY expecting it to be a major strain on my lungs and body, I was hugely and pleasantly surprised to find the end of the driveway came way too soon for me. As a matter of fact, as I ventured out beyond the driveway to attempt to pass the house next door, I was once again amazed that I hadn’t died yet. I began to take inventory as I continued to take on this feat I hadn’t been able to for so long. ‘Does my back hurt? – NO, are my legs hurting? NO, How is my breathing? a bit short but very doable”. Wow, who is this person? I continued to smile from ear to ear as I made it around a good-sized block safely into that very long and previously unaccomplishable driveway.  Yay for me… today the block, tomorrow – no shopping cart!

Now that I can see my feet, I don’t want to

now that I can see my feet I dont want to

Dear Diary, Apparently when my feet were buried beneath the shadow of my belly I didn’t see them often enough, and they got pretty neglected. All that shade and I never noticed they had become lifeless and downright ugly. I am not sure If am I glad I don’t have a partner in my life to see this horror or this is WHY I don’t have a partner in my life?

My toenails are cut crooked because I had to hold my breath while bending over trying to reach each toe with one hand and snip with the clippers – exhale – and somehow I can never reach my pinky toes –  I’m so grateful no one has come close enough to get pierced.

At first I thought,  I could really use a pumice stone, but I’m thinking an electric sander with 25 grit paper would do about now. And how many shades of tanning from my shoes are there anyway? Oh, and I think my neighbors child crept over while I was sleeping in my chair and drew on my legs with a purple pen, because there are so many lines on my shins.  I wonder how long and how many pedi’s it will take for them to look like a woman’s feet again?

And I wonder what else this belly of mine was hiding.

Damned if I do, Damned if I don’t –

damned if I do damned if I dont

Dear Diary, why is it that those same people who were concerned about me losing weight for my health and well-being – Those very same people who would make faces when they witnessed the large quantities of food I ate at the restaurant last week – and those very same people who even if they never opened their mouths would ooze out their disapproval of my very existence as a large woman – WHY IS IT THAT THEY – those ‘loved ones’ are upset that I won’t go to dinner with them, eat at their house or eat ‘real food’?  Seems as though they want me to be JUST like them and their eating habits. I can’t win if I am trying to by their standards. So I will just have to be my own cheerleader and support system. They don’t have a clue. All I can do is love them and hope for Karma to step in.