My Big Girl Chair – Dropped me like a hot potato

My big girl chairDear Diary, I purposely bought a folding chair that was comfortable and portable so I wouldn’t ‘worry’ that I was going to be without a place to sit in my yard or at the home of others. So why did it drop me like a hot potato the other day while I was enjoying my afternoon siesta?

There I was, minding my own business. Enjoying the lake view as the sun set behind the woods. What a glorious moment.  But then….when I tried to get up to go inside, something felt terribly ‘off’. As I pushed myself up from the arms I felt one shift, then another. Next thing you know I’m in the middle of a collapse that felt like a demolition site as the chair imploded – right from under me. One joint at a time. It was in slow motion. I went down in disbelief and without much resistance. I went for the ride. When I finally hit bottom surrounded by broken rusty screws and disassembled metal parts, I knew it was time to get up…. and I did, with the help of another chair to keep me from getting bruised in all the rubble. Thank goodness all that was bruised was my ego. Does anyone break a chair who is 120 pounds? If so, I’d love to hear from you.

My chair – it let me down – literally. I know I left it out in the rain several times. I know it’s 10 years old. I know I am 50 pounds more than its maximum weight… but HEY!

Amazon….. hurry up with my new chair.

Foot Spas and Large Bellies Don’t Mix

foot spa poster

Dear Diary, I tried to pamper myself last night with one of those foot spas.  I really thought I was doing a good thing for myself and my feet. After all, they carry a large amount of weight during the day.

So why then after I did all my ‘girl scout’ type  of preparation of bringing extra towels, having a comfy chair, placing the spa on a surface that could get wet, bringing Epsom salt and of course my smart phone to keep me company did I find out that foot spas and big bellies don’t mix?

I put in the water, turned on the heat, the vibrator and the bubbles. I sat in my comfy big girl folding chair to relax. I placed my feet slowly into the water and leaned back to enjoy.

Why Oh Why did I think I could lean over and splash water up on the still dry portion of my legs? What made me think my belly would allow that?

The last thing I can remember is that everything started happening at once – the chair tipping forward as I leaned forward,  I tried to take one very wet foot out of the spa to balance me but slipped instead and the spa decided to tilt and spill even more of my warm salty water all over the kitchen floor. Is anyone looking? Whew, no… but I still have a mess on my hands.

Thank goodness for the plethora of towels I brought.

I gave up trying to do what the smaller in size might find a no-brainer and just sat like a ‘good girl’ in my chair for the remaining time. It wasn’t that relaxing because now I was wondering where the next tidal wave was coming from. Will I ever do this again? Not without a helmet or a snorkel.